A father's pride is priceless...

I was talking to my mom about a week ago, when she commented on my dad's opinion of a picture of Jacob and I at his baptism.  My dad notice Jacob's arm on my shoulder and a smile on his face as if to say "this is my daddy, and he's my best friend!".  For dad, it was a testament to the job I've been doing with Jacob.  But then he expressed how proud he was of me.  Now, my dad has said this to me on a number of occasions over the past year, but maybe part of me just felt it was a passive form of encouragement.  A "keep up the good work" so to speak.  But the fact that he said it when I wasn't even around, for some reason, has resonated with me.

As a child of the 80's, my relationship with my dad was authoritative.  There was no worse feeling then knowing mom was going to discuss something I did with my father when he got home.  I can't recall exactly when it started, but all he had to do was touch his belt and I would straighten up fast!  He did what he could to be involved while I was growing up.  He was a pack leader for my cub scout troop (in which I was a complete disappointment, mostly due to lack of effort on my part) and he coached several of my little league teams.  As I got older, I began to see my dad as a hard working but emotionally disconnected family man.  That was, until, he became a grandfather.  I don't know what it is with men and their grandkids.  But my dad turns into a puddle around Jacob, and a side of him I never knew existed is exposed.  But more to the point, for the first time in my life I see genuine pride when he looks at me.  I didn't see it at high school graduation, or college commencement, or even on my wedding day.  Perhaps that's because academic and social success were just expected of me.  But apparently watching me with Jacob has had somewhat of a profound effect on the man.  Based on his remarks, I think it's because I'm doing something he doesn't think he could have done himself.  Maybe that's true, maybe it's not.  But regardless my dad is proud of me, and that pride has been a source of strength for me lately.